Funny Anniversary Quotes
An archaeologist is the ideal husband a woman can have
because he grows more interested in her as she gets older.
Thank you for volunteering to be my unpaid therapist.
There will be no refunds.
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!
Even though you’re losing yours,
let’s keep making memories together.
I’m at a loss for words to explain my feelings for you.
Regardless, thank you for loving me.
I thought a condolence card would
be more appropriate for our anniversary.
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!
Imagine if our marriage worked as well as you portray it on Facebook.
Congratulations on your achievement!
Here’s to another year of sorrow and pain.
You’re still here, right? It appeals to me.
What the hell is going on? We’re still together!
After all this time, my desire to stay
single still outweighs my desire to be with you.
We made it through another year without
one of us dying or going to jail.
I didn’t understand true bliss until I got married;
by then, it was too late.
We’re all in this together: three kids,
two lovebirds, and a mortgage. I adore you!
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering:
marriage is a three-ring circus.
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Funny Anniversary Quotes
It’s amazing how long we’ve put up with each other.
I haven’t grown tired of you yet.
When dating goes too far, it’s time to get married.
When both parties feel the urge for a disagreement at the same time,
a married pair is ideally matched.
Let us never stop attempting to change one another.”
Congratulations on another anniversary that demonstrates
how fortunate you are to have each other.
Happy anniversary to my spouse,
who still looks at other ladies the same way he looks at me.
There are no guarantees in marriage.
Go Live with a Car Battery if that’s what you’re looking for.
A toast to another year of convincing
ourselves that we know what we’re doing!
I’m looking for you, my beloved hubby.
To get more things done around the house.
If love is a wonderful dream,
marriage is a wake-up call.
Marriage is like a shop…
where the husband works and the wife shops.
All I want for next year is for you to be here.
Give me jewels, just kidding.
Congratulations on finding a partner
who makes you appear rational.
Spending time with you guys is one of my favorite pastimes.
You make life more enjoyable. Happy anniversary!
Anniversary wishes for husband funny
I love waking up next to you in the morning.
Just don’t breathe on me.
It’s been a year since we tied the knot
and became husband and wife.
That might explain why I’ve gained so much weight.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to.
You’re still the one I want for life.”
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age,
There is one thing that will never change.
I will always keep falling in love with you.
When both parties feel the urge to disagree at the same time,
a married pair is ideally matched.
Let’s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Happy anniversary!
I love you from now until the day we die.
But I send you this card to ask:
‘Do you want to bone!?
I’m honored that you chose me to be the special woman in your life
who will pick up your socks and wash your underpants for the rest of your life.
Marriage is just a series of whispers asking,
Are you awake? I have to show you this footage of a cat.
Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works & wife shops.
I am so blessed that I get to spend the rest
of my life with you. Happy birthday, baby!
Still in this together.
Thanks for going on this lifetime journey with me.
Love you forever.
Where there is love there is life.
99% of being married is just shouting ‘WHAT?’ from other rooms.
Anniversary wishes for husband funny
I have one place in mind for our anniversary that
we don’t visit often enough during the year. The bed chamber!
Any educated woman who reads the marriage contract before
entering it deserves to suffer the full brunt of the repercussions.
I used to think I knew what happiness was,
but after I got married, I realized I didn’t.
Then I realize it’s already too late when I wake up.
I like you better than carbs,
but not as much as cheese!
I still care about you.
Even though you fart in your sleep.
You already have me,
so I’m not sure what else you might want.
However, you should knock yourself out.
Nothing is impossible when two people adore each other.
Aside from picking where to dine, that is.
It’s like having a best friend who never listens
to what you say while you’re married to them.
For the rest of my life,
you are the only person I want to bother.
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!
Oh my god. Is it true that we’re still married?
Is it true that you’re still my husband?
I suppose it’s a happy anniversary. I adore you.
I’m not sure how you put up with me.
Then I recall, yes,
I put up with you for a long time, so we’re even.
I adore you so intensely that
I would gladly take a bullet for you.
Not on the head… but perhaps on the leg.
Marriage is just a series of whispers asking,
Are you awake? I have to show you this footage of a cat.
I heard you started so long ago that instead of filling out paperwork
on your first day, you chiseled your W-2 in stone. Anyway, happy work anniversary.
Happy work anniversary to someone who has worked
here so long; their employee ID is probably “1.
Funny anniversary cards
We always wonder how you can stay here for so long
and still stay sane. At least someone is trying.
Happy work anniversary to someone whose tenure with the company
has outlasted the average length of most celebrity marriages!
Happy workaversary! We wanted to hire a plane to write it in the sky,
but you know, budget cuts. Just enjoy this card instead.
Happy work anniversary!
I would have loved to shout it from the roof.
However, safety issues, and all of that.
Happy work anniversary! Why are you still here?
Expecting a gift? Isn’t my endless gratitude enough for you?
Another work anniversary?
You just had one last year!
Happy work anniversary! Again.
I’ve now lost count of the years you have been with us.
Instead, I will just say it has been a very long time.
Happy work anniversary! Hopefully,
by next year you will finally win the lottery and get out.
Wow! Doesn’t time fly? Just think,
soon you will have been here for ten years! How exciting!
The best part of our jobs has been working with you can you say the same?
We were thinking about getting you an anniversary gift too,
but thinking about it is as far as it got.
We were going to do something funny for your work anniversary,
but there’s nothing funny about working here another year.
Your dedication to your job is something we can only
aspire to – aspire not to replicate, that is.
Happy anniversary from someone you’re
probably shocked to know it was your anniversary.
Anniversary cards for husband
I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job
because they will find an easy way to do it. Happy Work Anniversary!
Always remember that you are absolutely and unequivocally unique.
That is, one-of-a-kind, just like everyone else. Happy Work Anniversary!
Seeing as it’s your anniversary today,
how about going a little easy on us? Congratulations!
I was going to suggest a party,
but I guess you’re too busy working! Happy anniversary!
Is it another year of you working here?
You must love us! Today, you’ll have to do an exciting
presentation on all your favorite things in the office!
Happy anniversary now get back to work!
I bet you’d hoped we’d forget,
or at the very least that you’d forget how long
you’ve been here. Nope, happy anniversary.
That’s another year gone by and another year waiting
for someone to recognize all the hard work you do.
We bet you don’t remember what you were doing this time last year!
You were probably doing the same thing you’re doing right now.
This is to remind you that you’ve just wasted
another year doing the same stuff every day. But we love you.
best employees. We do hope that by this time next year,
you’ll have some of these qualities too.
We don’t throw the word “amazing” around often especially when handing
out work anniversary messages. Luckily, you won’t find it on this card either.
Happy work anniversary! You see, there’s no point dwelling on the past
and your past mistakes. Let’s look forward to a better year this year.
You’re a consistent reminder that hard work
never killed anyone – but why take that chance, eh?
Here’s to another 10 years of arguing over who loves each other more!
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Happy anniversary funny
Who says time flies when you’re having fun?
It must have flown like lightning for you two lovebirds, then!
If a picture is worth a thousand words,
then here’s to ten years of beautiful memories!
Congratulations on never
getting tired of poking fun at one another
Happy anniversary to my favorite person
to make fun of and be made fun of by.
I hope you never get tired of one another.
May your love continue to be as strong as your wedding cake was dry.
Happy Anniversary! Now smile,
or I’ll throw confetti at you!
No matter how hard life gets,
at least you have each other! Happy anniversary!
Cheers to two imperfect pieces that fit perfectly together.
Every love story is different, but yours is my favorite.
Happy anniversary to two friends who mean the world to me.
Best of luck to you on your anniversary, Mom and Dad.
It’s a special day for me as well as you because it would have been
impossible for me to send this message without you. Thanks.
I wish to have a good marriage like yours one day.
One that’s blessed with mutual respect, love, understanding,
and a wonderful child like me. You’re welcome.
Have a marvelous anniversary.
They say marriage makes you live longer
this must be true because you two have been married for eternity.
Here’s to forever, mom and dad! Happy anniversary!
Marriage is finding that one person who puts up with your drama,
admires your weirdness, and still tells you they love you at the end of the day,
and that’s definitely what you have! Happy anniversary Mom and Dad!
Happy anniversary funny
I couldn’t imagine where I’d be without the two of you literally!
Happiest of anniversaries to my wonderful and amazing parents.
The longer two people stay together, the more they look like each other.
Hopefully, Mom won’t grow a matching beard, Dad. Happy anniversary to you two lovebirds!
Let’s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than Mom.
Happy anniversary to the best parents in the world.
It is remarkable how you have both tolerated each other for so long!
Happy anniversary Mom and Dad, and may you continue tolerating each other for eternity!
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first.
That tells you everything you need to know about marriage!
Happy Anniversary mom and dad!
God has truly compensated you for that face
he gave you a while back by giving you such a beautiful wife.
I’m glad you’ve built such a beautiful and happy life together.
Happy anniversary Mom and Dad!
You two go together just like salt and pepper,
bacon and eggs, peanut butter and jelly… Happy anniversary!
Leo Tolstoy wrote a book about you two.
It was titled “War and Peace.
Happy anniversary to my parents!
I have given up watching comedy shows because
I love watching the two of you quarrel in that comical
fashion that you always do. Happy anniversary!
In the Olympic Games of marriage,
you’ve won medals for producing smart,
handsome children like me.
Happy anniversary, Mum and Dad.
Mum, you might be losing your memory,
but Dad will make sure that both
of you continue to make new memories.
Happy anniversary to you both!
Happy First Anniversary! Which is paper,
so I hope you enjoy this fun card!
I fall for you more and more every day!”
The Eighth Anniversary gift is bronze or pottery,
so pretend this card is a bowl
I made it in my pottery class that I haven’t taken.
I love you so much!”
Happy 4th Anniversary! It’s Fruit and Flowers this year,
so how ‘bout flowers MADE OF fruit!?
I know you’ve always wanted one of these arrangements,
so I hope you enjoy it and also let me have at least one strawberry rose.
Sending warm wishes and hearty congratulations for the occasion.
19 years is an accomplishment…but it’s not too long to forget
about the Pastor’s booger at your wedding!
Funny anniversary to a couple
Here’s to another year of adventures,
Gryffindor points, ruffs, and big baby legs. I can’t wait.
I’m so happy I slid in your DM’s!
I guess Geminis aren’t that bad after all.
You’re the best GF ever.
Happy Anniversary, Chicken! I love you,
but I also really like you. You are my mirror
and my greatest friend. Cheers to many more years,
laughs, and falling asleep watching shows.
Thanks for the health insurance and, like, love and stuff.
That’s pretty cool too. Kiss our son on his spot for me.
This probably sounds weird to the person writing this card.
I want you to know how much happiness
and satisfaction I get from annoying the hell out of you all these years.
I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon.
Here’s to another year of driving each other nuts,
but let’s be honest, your lives would be boring any other way!
I love you so much. I don’t want to annoy anyone else!
I can’t believe we didn’t kill each other.
I don’t want to build a life with anyone else.
No matter what, I’ll always be your number 1 fan.
Here’s to another year of cheering for our love in the stands.
Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
You are my sun, my moon,
and all of my stars.” E.E. Cummings
A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made,
I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.
True love is being completely committed to someone
even when they are being a giant…
For marriage to be a success, every woman
and every man should have her and his bathroom. The end
Husbands are the best people to share a secret
with because they never listen anyway.
It is remarkable how long we have tolerated each other.
Happy anniversary funny for a couple
Another revolution of the planet, and I’m still head over heels in love with you.
Lover Boy, I’d like to congratulate you on our anniversary!”
You are the finest, loveliest,
tenderest, and most beautiful person
I have ever known and even that is an understatement.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
I’ve always wanted the best for you – which is me!
Each day with you is a day in heaven.
You are my main SQUEEZE and I do love your LEMONS!
You are the best errand runner and snack whisperer there ever was
and I’m thankful for every crazy day that is our life.
I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you
didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a
hundred minus one days so I never have to live without you.
I love waking up next to you in the morning.
Just don’t breathe on me.
What the hell is going on? We’re still together!
Here’s to me, I have loved you for another 365 days!
Now, get me a large drink!
I love waking up next to you in the morning.
Just don’t breathe on me”
Sitting next to you is like taking a sip of eternity.
The sun, the stars, the sky never tasted so good.
Thank you for all of the love and support you’ve shown In reality,
I knew you were the only ones for each other,
and you both told me so.
Happy anniversary my love.
Eat all the leftovers again and I will send you.”
Happy anniversary funny for a couple
Living without you may be a calming experience,
but it would be a boring one too.
Thanks for making my life exciting!”
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve
been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home,
but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
Sending warm wishes and hearty congratulations for the occasion. 19 years is an accomplishment…but it’s not too long to forget about the Pastor’s booger at your wedding!
We go together like sound and sight, black and white, day and night.
We go together like left and right. Oh, we go together.
I would rather share one lifetime
with you than face all the ages of this world alone.
It’s your anniversary, honey.
‘Grow old with me, the best is yet to be,
I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.
Marriage is just whispering,
‘Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video’
Happy anniversary, sweetheart.
As far as God is concerned,
he’s still in stitches over the way he put us together.
You’re fit, you’re funny and you’re a complete
and utter perv! Everything I wanted?
You are my perfect match! You light up my life!
You are so hot! Let’s keep the flames burning bright.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.
I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman
in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks
and washing your underwear
I’m not sure how you put up with me.
Then I recall, yes, I put up with you for a long time, so we’re even.
I love being married.
It’s so great to find that one particular person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Funny anniversary card
Throughout the good times and the bad? I used to be skinny,
and now I’m chubby, but I still like you.
Congratulations on our wedding anniversary.
I need you, my beloved spouse.
to get more done around the house.
Marriage is like vitamins;
we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.
Sweetheart, I wish you a happy anniversary.
You claimed you would spend the rest of your life
showing me how much you care, but I didn’t grasp it.
I can’t believe that I’m married to my best friend.
Thank you for making each year together better than the last.”
I haven’t grown tired of you yet.
One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary from someone that you’re
probably shocked knew it was our anniversary.
Holy shit. We’re still married!
Men with pierced ears, in my opinion,
are better prepared for marriage.
They’ve been through agony
and purchased jewelry as a result.
Some people ask about the secret to our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing…
she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
Congratulations! Cheers to another year of suffering and misery.
Congratulations – you’re the perfect choice for my first wife!
If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust;
If you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers,
chances are, you’re in love.
I’m so grateful to have found you and that you said yes.
Funny anniversary quotes for couples
Being married to you is like having a best friend
who never listens to what you say.
There are no guarantees in marriage.
Go Live with a Car Battery if that’s what you’re looking for.
I cannot find another heart like yours,
and I promise you cannot find any love like mine.
I think I may have developed some sort of attachment to you.
Congratulations on your anniversary,
you two! I’m awed by your ability to put up with each other.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all. Love never fails.
I still care about you.
Even though you fart in your sleep.
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains,
but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.
I’ll love you even when you’re old and wrinkly
One lemon met another and the ZEST is history!
Happy Anniversary to us!
No one else would understand our relationship,
and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do.
Happy anniversary
Behind every great man,
a woman is rolling her eyes.
I love you, and I will love you until I die,
and if there’s a life after that, I’ll love you then.
I’ll be wherever you are, keeping an eye on you to make sure you don’t
get into any trouble. My beloved, I wish you a happy anniversary!
I love you more than I hate everything else.
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Funny anniversary quotes
Sweetheart, happy anniversary!
If we ever stop working together at the glue factory,
I’m afraid we’ll lose our connection.
I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction
I get from annoying the hell out of you all these years.
I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon.
Every heart sings a song, incomplete until another heart whispers back.
Those who wish to sing always find a piece. At the touch of a lover,
everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato. We may not always sing in tune,
but I would not trade the music that we make for anything
Every day I appreciate you but today you get a card to prove it…
They say don’t fall in love because it hurts.
I took the risk the moment I saw you.
Marriage is a lot like the army. Everyone complains,
but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists
I was married to a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Cheers to another year of pain and suffering.
What a beautiful and loving couple.
Wishing you a lifetime of wedded bliss.”
My darling, happy anniversary!
I will always be there for you.
Surely, there must be someone to keep you safe!
To say I fell hard for you is an understatement.
I still love you now more than ever.
I love you, etc. Can we eat now?